The women I can see
Revealing my energy to you has felt hard, and devastating. I am arriving at the point where my voice can’t get loud enough to communicate, to create with the feminine. Yet still, it doesn’t matter. I don’t feel the alignment out there, the true equanimity I’m seeking has vanished in myself; I am aching at your feet, you can see, but can’t see me. I feel invisible among women at times, but I can see you; I really do.
I am scared of my voice.
I am getting as loud as vulnerability let me.
I am okay with being misunderstood.
I can see you through femininity.
Women out there aren’t here to only seek the masculine, but to align with it through God’s energy. We are creators, but now let me create my boundaries. I am not here to compete, to run against others, to hurt the dirt among flowers and breathe in other’s victories. I am here to express, despite not being able to talk with you, I love you the most but feel alone among.
I don’t feel a true alignment in polarities, I want the kindness and good in the masculine and let myself be completed in both. I love you, you see, but I need to let it go and respect myself first. I love you, you see, I can see through you and more, and in the hurt I find music and words, and the courage to be myself as whole.
At this moment of my life I need to make it clear.
At this moment of my life I can’t communicate to the ones I loved best, they can’t return the same energy.
This is part all my journey as a human being, to all the women out there, don’t take this personally but understand my transformation, no burning bridges but collapsing into stars to be protected by my own light. I can’t engage, freedom and fear won’t let me, but I see you past the tears and solitude and the years you have been there inside me, as I am part of you.
I am completely okay with not being understood, for I see you and seek God in me.
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